Personal Relationships

Good friends are hard to come by and soulmates never dissipate. At least that’s what we often hear about intimate relationships and great friendships. When we find the right man or woman to spend all of our time with , it makes us feel complete. The same goes for great friends. Having someone who understands you and who will cry with you just as fast as they will laugh with you; that’s special.

The five factors of personal attraction play a very important role in friendships and intimate relationships as they are the deciding factors as to how strong and important such relationships can be. Proximity, familiarity, similarity, physical appearance, and reciprocity all matter when it comes to the strength and significance of the relationship. Crossing paths often is important in helping people build relationships. According to lecture notes “people are more likely to be attracted to one another if they work, live, or otherwise cross paths with each other often. Proximity increases a person's opportunities to interact and thus allows friendships to develop” (Clarke, 1952).

Seeing people often also allows you to become familiar with them. Furthermore, people are said to be drawn to others who are similar to them. “Thus, they typically form relationships with people who are similar to them in age, social class, education, intelligence, and religion. Such people are less threatening to them, they support their beliefs and values, they enhance their self-esteem, and they are more fun to be around” (Byrne, 1971). Physical attraction is also important, along with reciprocity. People like people who like them back. All of these things help to shape, form and build great relationships.

When it comes to exchange versus communal factors in relationship development and maintenance, it is safe to say that communal relationships are a tad bit easier to maintain. With exchange relationships being reciprocal centered, they might be harder to keep intact. This is because someone is always looking for something in return. These relationships are said to be more common in the workplace while communal relationships are more personal and intimate and it is not so much about reciprocity as it is about doing things for others out of love. According to an article entitled ``Attitudes And Social Cognition “members of exchange relationships are primarily concerned with maintaining balance in the giving and receiving of benefits. Thus, unlike communally oriented individuals, who are mainly focused on others' needs, exchange-oriented individuals are relatively more self-oriented in that they are primarily concerned with monitoring relationship exchanges to make sure that they are getting their "fair share” ( Chen, S., Lee-Chai, A., & Bargh, J. 1998).

According to the lecture notes, when it comes to intimate relationships all five factors of personal attraction help to predict social attraction. Attachment styles matter in this because depending on how affectionate two people are, their relationship will grow stronger and become more intimate. The closer two people become, whether in friendships or intimate relationships, the more they want to be around one another and support one another. Two sisters can have an unbreakable bond where nothing can come between them. This is all contingent upon how they build their relationship. Just as easily, you can find two sisters who are not so close and do not have that special bond because they have not worked to build it.

When it comes to equity theory, exchange theory and penetration theory, relationships are maintained or ended based on where they fall. The equity theory focuses on determining whether the distribution of resources is fair to both relational partners. In other words if things are not fifty fifty, then one may choose to walk away. The exchange theory focuses on the process of negotiated exchanges between two people. This has to do with the stability within a relationship or friendship. Lastly, there is penetration theory that says as relationships grow and develop, they go from shallow to deeper and more intimate. People make the choice to stay in friendships or relationships depending on how close they are, how intimate they are and how much they get from the other person.

References

Chen, S., Lee-Chai, A., & Bargh, J. (n.d). Relationship orientation as a moderator of the effects of

social power. Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology,80(2), 173-187.

Social Psychology, Eighth Edition, by Elliot Aronson, Timothy D. Wilson, and Robin M. Akert.

Published by Pearson. Copyright © 2013 by Pearson Education, Inc.