Confessions of an Anxious Girl

Confession #1

As a little girl, I always felt so lost and afraid! It was like I was here but I wasn’t here at the same time. I often wondered if God had made a mistake because I just didn’t feel like I belonged. I can’t really speak on why I felt this way because I honestly have no clue, but I do know this was the beginning of my anxious life journey.

Often times, we fail to dig deep enough to understand that some of our issues started long before we even knew what they were. I was talking to some friends recently and I shared with them that I didn’t just begin struggling with anxiety in my thirties! I in fact, experienced my first major anxiety attack when I was about fifteen years old, during school!

But that’s not where my anxiousness began either. I’d been anxious long before that embarrassing day in the tenth grade. Long before the ambulance had to be called and all of my friends watched me freak completely out after cutting my hair by mistake.

I remember the paramedic saying “you’re having an anxiety attack young lady” “we need to you take slow deep breaths”. I cried and I breathed and I cried and I breathed some more. I was utterly terrified because I really thought I was going to die. My heart was doing something strange and I felt completely out of control. Little did I know, many more anxious moments would follow!