There's A Little Nola Darling In All Of Us!
When it comes to the way we as women see ourselves sexually, there is truly a level of discomfort. This is because women are often shunned for exploring our sexual selves. We don't get a pat on the back for having a little black book or props for doing two guys in the same day. Instead, we are taught at very young ages that girls who sleep around are whores and that it's nasty to desire sexual pleasures from our counterparts.
Because of these generational lessons wrapped in belief systems, we are often left feeling confused and we hide behind those lessons like timid little girls hide behind their mothers when they see people they don't know. We keep a lot of things to ourselves because we fear judgment and we are often too ashamed to ask. According to psychologytoday.com "Ever since 1948 when Alfred Kinsey launched modern sex research, one finding has been confirmed and re-confirmed over and over again. Compared with men, women are considerably less likely to have orgasms".
Considering the way we grow up and the things we are taught about our bodies and sex, I can't say that I'm surprised that many women don't have healthy sexual experiences. Psychologytoday.com tells us that our experiences are often shaped by demographics, beliefs, relationships and sexual traumas. Committed relationships prove better than casual ones in this area, but at the end of the day, men still have more orgasms than women.
When a woman is comfortable with her body and her sexual self, people, including other women, view her negatively and try to make her feel bad about it. But there's a little Nola Darling in all of us ladies. A little part of us that wants what we want when we want it. A little part of us that desires more. A little part of us that enjoys sexual freedom and exploration. A little part of us that's gotta have it!
Sex is not a scary topic and yet it's such a scary topic. It is truly a part of life. We will all have or desire it as we are human beings. It is the only way to create life and it connects a man and a woman in ways unimaginable.
Now ladies, I'm not saying go sleep around or have sex with multiple men, but what I am saying is that if we can be honest for but a moment, then maybe we too can have the healthy sexual experiences we both deserve and desire. Whether in a committed relationship or marriage, we should still be able to feel comfortable and confident.
Embrace the little bit of Nola Darling in you and do it your way! 💐
